Sorry...

Matt Bowman, here is your apology entry.

This will be resurrected very soon.

I promise.

Hurricane Ike

First of all, I think it is important to tell you that myself, my family, my pets, my home, and my precious, precious belongings are very safe and sound and secure. I am making it a point to tell you this because I am almost positive at this point that over one million people cannot even begin to utter that very sentence.

Hurricane Ike is upon us, and while I have neither understood this force of nature nor its ability to rip through land and homes without so much as a whimper, I think I am beginning to believe why this isn't a joke.

It is 5:30am on Saturday, September 13, 2008, and I am holed up in a makeshift fort I constructed in my mother's closet. My mother is under lockdown at the hospital probably operating on some poor sap who ventured out in the god-forsaken weather. My grandmother is asleep in her bedroom probably totally unaware of the havoc and almost chaotic happenings brewing outside of her window. My dog is panting hot breath into my face as I write this. My father is sleeping in my mother's bed with his dog and my cat. I can't sleep.

Earlier my father made me walk outside to witness my version of the storm. Suffice it to say the trees bowed so low to the ground that frenzied images of people drowning and buildings under siege by unrelenting waves of torrential water and debris streamed into my mind nearly flooding my own brain. It was all I could do to sit down on the warm, dry couch in my living room and cry.

My city - ruined!

Never in a million years did I think my heart would cry out for Houston, Texas. Never once have I ever seen myself as a true Texan, a true patriot for this state. I guess perspectives really can change. I can't even enjoy the thrill and adrenaline rush of an amazing, powerful storm without feeling painfully guilty that I cannot strap on some sort of death proof armor, trod off to Galveston without so much as a second though, and pull people from their no doubt flooded, breaking, unbelievably devastated homes. I wish with all of my might I could do this.

This morning (September 12th) I awoke at 9am expecting some torrential rain, but it was so quiet. It was just bland, milky skies and quiet. The news was the only thing on TV for the next 12 hours until the power failed. We watched the waves pound against the sea wall (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a large thirty foot wall that separates the beach from the city level, which was built up after the Storm of 1900; it's a defense mechanism, and the storm was winning). At 9am the storm surge drains were already fully and inevitably spilling water into the streets - all this sixteen hours before Ike was to even touch land. I saw people and cars and things in a hurry to escape the unknown torment stewing in the gulf, breeding in the hot water, mixing inseparably with the high pressure in the air. I also saw people taking pictures and relaxing and laughing because we have already seen about four major hurricane threats this summer let alone the countless of measly sputtering of life most hurricanes are as the choke to the shore. Now I'm just thinking about the 40% who stayed on the island, the 40% whose lives are in peril. Why didn't they leave?

Right now I'm waiting for all the windows in my house to bow in until they just snap. I sat and watched the sliding glass doors undulate and bend thinking that if I were to watch any longer the glass would shatter and take me as a casualty. Dad drew the curtains back over the doors. I really don't even want to sit by it as this point.

The wind and rain have turned into this relentless organ pushing the anger through, muting the noise and switching it into whining, shaking tubes, rattling at the windows begging to be let in, yearning to push through the walls. I can hear baby birds chirping outside as they drown and die in the rain.

Maybe this is my Katrina; maybe this is my Great Experience; maybe I will be able to learn something from all of this in the coming weeks and months and years as I watch my once powerful, unbreakable city rebuild itself; maybe I'll find God in the deep flood trenches when I help my Uncle sweep water and debris from the streets of Galveston; maybe I will finally start feeling something for this city that I have never before: love.

All in all, for now, for this exact minute, I will just keep pondering away about my life and the future of everything and just listen to the barrage thundering and pressing itself inexorably against my windows. 

I can't sleep.

This entry was written last night. It is now morning and the damage is unthinkably severe. Millions are without power, windows are blown out of the skyscrapers downtown with desks and computers and blinds smashed across the street, homes are flooded in areas that were supposed to be safe, rooftops from certain buildings have peeled clean off. I just can't even understand it. Hopefully within the coming weeks I can give you more pictures and more information. Take care, be safe.

Photo Credit: The New York Times

The Trials and Tribulations of Going Green: A Simple Guide to Environmental Consciousness

So when did "Going Green" become the new missionary position? 

My friend Carlos and I discuss this new focus of popular culture every now and then, and since I have been devoid of topic and/or words lately, I was finally influenced to put thoughts to words to this computer screen. I may not know everything about this lifestyle (I'm no Natalie Portman), but some topics serve discussion well. Going Green can be easy, simple, and even rewarding, but sometimes the idea of being environmentally friendly can be misconstrued as political nonsense or even economically destructive; however, the purpose of this particular post is to explore all sides of this intermingled and sometimes difficult argument. 

Maybe everyone started really considering this whole "Going Green" phenomenon after Al Gore essentially freaked out the nation with his liberal guffaw of a documentary. Essentially, I was skeptical because I don't give a fuck about Al Gore or Hollywood liberalism, and the combination of two make my insides hurt; however, despite my induced cirrhosis, Al Gore was at least trying to say something. I'm assuming Gore wants us to consider the dying Polar Bears and how Katrina was just a result of our pathetic and wasteful lifestyles - he was trying to shock us, but there's so much more to this lifestyle (or trend, depending how you look at it) than instilling fear into your audience and winning an award for it: he actually cares about this topic.

I think most Americans consider the act of Going Green to be financially painful and contrived. The majority of Americans, especially the population of Houston, enjoy their luxury vehicles and their washing machines and getting their daily water values from a convenient plastic bottle; fuck, I know I do. Humans are very set in their ways and ultimately resist change unless they can control any possible variables themselves; however, if asked to give up their Lexus for a Schwinn 10 Speed, I'm sure the only response heard would either be laughter or a shameless "No, thank you."

I'm not any better: I like to leave all my appliances plugged in for convenience, my fan runs all day and night, my fridge is stocked with bottled water, and I have yet to switch out all my lightbulbs to those really cute, swirly ones. Maybe if I had enough money to attach a solar panel to the top of my head, so I can be constantly reminded of how many helpless Polar Bears aren't dying out there in the freezing Arctic waters, I would be a better citizen of the Earth's green community. 

All in all, though, it's all relative. I could look at the one of two ways: laugh at the "new" idea of being more environmentally conscious and all of the contrived publicity it receives, or genuinely understand the true nebulae of a such an argument and accept the inner guidelines into my everyday life. Considering these two outcomes, I'm going to choose Answer B, aka "the latter," and move on.

Sometimes, when confronted with the idea of going completely Green, all I can see in my mind is a 5x10 house with a composting toilet and no air conditioning (which is horrible) because being complete in something as drastic as this is almost unattainable. As prior mentioned, I make no apologies for the small conveniences I'm afforded in life, but there are also small things I can do to change the way I live and the impact I have on my environment. Though I'm only one person, I could be that tiny voice in the crowd screaming for change; I could be like a Ghandi pursuing reverent social change and selfless restitution. Maybe this small, yet relatable discussion on environmental consciousness will help you. I'm not one to be esoteric about my lifestyle and contend that I am better than you, because I'm not - I'm just as guilty as anyone else.

As part of writing this post, I Googled "going green" in order to find some articles (and some simple help) addressing this subject. I soon came across this website: 10 Ways to Go Green and Save Green - not only is it a simple, 10 Step resolution to a complicated and drawn out argument, but it's also economically conscious, which is something everyone can be happy about. The most interesting product or tool mentioned on this list is the Smart Power Strip. Ranging from $27 to $32, this intelligent surge protector serves the earth and your wallet well. Since I like to leave my electronics plugged in, this product would definitely suit my needs. Whenever the plugs senses an item has been turned off, say a computer or a television, it turns off any other "phantom loads -" this includes computer monitors, speakers, DVD players, gaming systems and cable boxes. The initial device, like the television itself or the computer tower, stays "on," essentially, and when you go to power up your computer or switch on your favorite show, the other products attached with such acts return. So, you don't have to worry about leaving all those miscellaneous electronics plugged in 24/7/365 because this little guy will do all the work for you. Not only will this reduce hefty carbon emissions, but it definitely won't break the bank.

There other things you can do to go green without spending a single dime; one of these being recycling. Separating out your trash may be more time consuming than your regular routine, but it can also save you in the end. Sometimes, even aluminum cans can be recycled at local kiosks for a cash return. Paper and plastic can be easily recycled at the right locations with a little research, and even food can be returned to the earth in the form of a compost pile in your backyard. Most people might assume this is really smelly and/or unsanitary, but it not only helps to keep your house waste free, but can also be used to fertilize your garden or even your neighbors' garden. Hell, you may get to a point where you don't even own a trash can anymore and even earn a little cash money in the process.

So, maybe Going Green isn't as hard as some people (or I, really) thought. There are simple and inexpensive solutions to this issue. At times, its importance is shoved into our faces in an abrasive and sometimes off-putting way, but if we as a community can boil down its persona to an accessible entity, perhaps more progress can be made.

I would like to take this time to thank my friend Carlos Andres for helping me write this post. He's the real idea man here, I just have an internet connection. Also, feel free to comment, e-mail me, or teepee my suburban home. Active discussion is incredibly encourage and appreciated, so please, comment below.

Introduction

To begin, I shall introduce myself: My name is Chelsea, I'm nineteen years old and reside in the rather large and beast-like state that is Texas - Houston, specifically. I am a full time student (English major), and I work part/full time. Now, as a disclaimer, I am not a connoisseur of all things Hardcore. I don't have a thousands of dollars invested in rare vinyl (this is not that say that people who collect records are stupid or wasteful, I have a few myself; I'm merely trying to point out that I am not well versed in all things Hardcore - I'm very much green), I'm not one to drop $60 bucks on merch at every show I attend (mostly because I'm broke and/or I opt for heels over Vans) - hell, sometimes I don't even know what the fuck most hardcore heads are talking about when it comes right down to it. Yes, I admit to my flagrant ignorance; however, I still have love for this scene. 

As a kid, hardcore was an outlet for my anger, a common ground to displace my animosity and discover exciting, and rather intimidating, forms of expression. I found my thirst for knowledge from this scene, and I have also seen my entire life fall apart (this is, in part, due to my own unreasonable and rather disgusting actions when I was younger). My mind unraveled itself, started questioning the validity of all things, gleaning information like a sponge; it also built a wall. 

And that is really the focus of this first post: do the social norms and gender roles inflicted by hardcore on its devout population allow said people to flourish, or does it create a hindrance?

I shall divulge into my own opinion here: in truth, I have seen such a hindrance. People just seem to get caught up in their own Hardcore Hierarchy of Needs whether it be paper/internet zines, amassing a sizable record collection, finally winning that bid for an old X Watch, or even just treating younger kids like shit because they haven't "been around." And I'm sure you have seen it too.

Somewhere along the line, our small society has lost sight of the pure and essential elements which need to be present. At the recent Have Heart show in Houston, Patrick Flynn said something to the effect of this: Hardcore used to be a lot bigger (and I'm positive he said this with much more eloquence than I'll ever be able to) - Hardcore used to be rampant. JD from Shipwreck has spoken on it to. So, what happened? Kids in the motherfuckin' desert (hyperbole) used to be influenced by this, but now, when a decent and thought-provoking band books a show in one of the biggest cities in America, how many people show up?  - At most, 100 paying customers. 

So what happened? Over the last twenty years, what took Hardcore from this powerful, locomotive entity to a dying breed? Sure, we go to shows, we pay, some mosh, some buy merch, but are we doing anything? Are we REALLY saying something? It's to the point where I'm embarrassed to expel my weekend plans to a coworker because that something, that thing I used to be so proud of, I now doubt it; it's almost stopped "pounding in my heart." 

Now all that up there, it's just word vomit, mostly. Unconnected thoughts with more explanation than you would care to read. But I know, looking at the faces around me at a show, that I'm not Alone in this Crowd - everyone wants it to live, to grow. And if that's the case, we need to tend to it. I guess what I'm probing at is that I want people to get angry again. I want someone to stand up and fucking say something, to question the order of things. I want to see a vigor and a fighting spirit that I can feel in the distance. If you want to keep something alive, then stop killing it.

"No more scene, no more unity - SCHISM REIGNS.

What the fuck happened to what we said?

Was it some idiotic game we fucking played?

It wasn't a game to me!

Is anybody there?

Does anybody care?

Does anybody see what I see?"

Please direct all questions, comments, concerns and angry or otherwise vicious diatribes to the following e-mail: schismreigns@gmail.com. Also, I encourage such responses and will base further entries off of said material. Thank you!